Someone has the remote

March 23, 2018

 

I relate to that message so much, but it is infuriating that I can’t do anything about it.

 

 

My husband and I were driving to the store and he asked why I kept flipping through stations or songs on my iPod while driving (I do this even when he’s driving). I didn’t have an answer, it’s just something I do. And he asks me about it all the time. This time, I blurted out that’s how it is in my head. It doesn’t explain why I do it, but I guess I just wanted him to understand how I feel.

 

Someone is constantly flipping channels, the volume is loud, and 20 different channels are going at the same time. This is why it’s hard to hear. This is why my family thought u had a hearing problem all this time.

Ever since we have been together, my husband assumed I am “acting” like I can’t stay focused, or being dramatic when I am stressed out and tell him I have too much going on and to him it appears I don’t. Laundry takes me forever because I forget to put the clothes in, finish putting them in, transferring them to the dryer, and taking them out and folding them. If I even get that far, it takes me up to 8 hours to just do that. It’s not a game, and it’s not fun either.

 

In my head, it's as though 20 TVs are on with the volume loud while someone is flipping through the stations.  I have random thoughts also fighting for attention, and to top it off, someone is trying to speak to me through a small hole in the wall.  My entire life, my family thought I had a problem with my hearing.  Moving sometimes helps, but even that can get distracting.  

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